Falling is an appropriate metaphor for love. Exhilaration, yes, but also a loss of control, fear, vulnerability, chance of being hurt. And yet, as a relationship develops, and we become more and more entwined in each other’s lives, often we have expectations of how that should go. We proceed with plans and agendas.

When the love is of a child, often control is a substitute for teaching and patience. Molding them rather than letting them blossom is easier.

But is that still love?

Tenzen Palmo says:

Attachment is the very opposite of love. Love says, ‘I want you to be happy.’ Attachment says, ‘I want you to make me happy.’

In any loving relationship, we need to constantly remind ourselves to put the other first, to want what is best for them, to cheer their successes and mourn their failures, to encourage and support. And, hopefully, our loved one will love us in that same way right back.