Love

I carry your heart with me.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

I recently bought a snow globe of a Labrador and a cardinal in the woods.

These two remind me of the unconditional love I was lucky enough to receive from my late dog, Honey

And my late, and very much beloved grandmother.

Honey was my soul animal, always with me, zooming with me into school visits during the pandemic, meeting and loving every neighbor we encountered on our long walks, my constant companion.

My grandmother loved me unconditionally, always eager to hear my stories, encouraging me in my writing, sharing life as two brunette mothers of redheads, growing together in our faith journeys.

I love having them there with me symbolically on my desk in this little snow globe because, frankly, grief is hard. Losing those precious to us leaves a gaping wound. But when we remember them, we remember the love they gave us, too, and that part feels good. When we carry them with us like that, they are still here.

I think of e.e. cummings‘ poem:

[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]

BY E. E. CUMMINGS

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                      i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

And as we go on, past the loss, we carry those who have loved us with us in our hearts, giving us comfort and strength. We carry them with us, and, with that, we carry the unconditional love they gave that still sustains us, even now.

Take your time.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

Have you ever been at your wits’ end, and then someone’s kind words literally change your whole day and outlook? We can forget how simple words can make profound differences.

Consider this story from NPR:

STEPHANIE COLE: There I was in my black skirt and my white blouse and ready to go the first day. And I had been trained but very, very quickly. And as is true in a department store during Christmas, it was just bustling. You know how it is at Christmas, when everybody’s out shopping and everybody’s in a hurry and all these people around. This woman comes up to me with, I think, a Christmas tree ornament she wanted to buy, and I freeze. I just freeze. All of a sudden, I can’t remember anything. I can’t remember how to run the cash register. I can’t remember anything about the transactions. I am just absolutely frozen – and probably very close to tears. Just – I so wanted this to go right, and it was going so wrong.

She looked at me and paused and, with such a kind expression on her face, said, it’s all right. Take your time. I’m not in a hurry. And that was the release. All of a sudden, I could breathe, I could wait till somebody else could help me. It was going to be OK. It made such an impression that all these years later, not only do I still remember it, but I find myself – those words coming out of my mouth on numerous, many, many occasions over the years. You know, you encounter somebody whose first day on the job or they’re just having a bad day and things are really – you can tell they’re in a bad place. And you can say, it’s OK. I’m not in a hurry. Take your time. And it always makes the situation better. Always, always.

And so this woman, I can’t really remember her face – and certainly, she’s probably dead by now, given how old I was and how old she was – but she gave me that gift without knowing she gave me that gift, and it’s lasted all these years.

https://www.npr.org/2025/12/15/nx-s1-5640144/a-customers-patience-60-years-ago-was-a-gift-that-changed-a-womans-life

Maybe today you’ll have the chance to be the person remembered 60 years from now for the kind words you say and patience you show to a stranger today!

Dancing dust.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

Hello Mortal,

I regret to inform you that your time here in this place and time is limited.

So, now is your time, however much you might prefer a different one. You matter. The gifts you bring matter. The relationships you tend need you.

This is it.

Consider young Calvin:

Or, better yet, consider this poem:

We are in a joint and fragile keeping, ephemeral, and impermanent. But, now, now, it is ours for the tending, the keeping, the loving. Grasp it.

So many things.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

There are so many ways to find solace in troubling times. Lately, I’ve been paying attention to delight. What a lovely emotion is delight, and instances can be found everywhere.

For me, just this past few days, I’ve found delight in a friend’s video of their new grandson laughing, the unabashed belly laugh of the new to this world that can’t help but make me smile. In a friend’s periwinkle sweater, my favorite color, a favorite shared with my late grandmother who I adored and the color of jacaranda blossoms that takes me back to days sitting on the lawn of my children’s elementary school under the falling blooms as a best friend and I waited, chatting, for our kids to come running out at the end of their school day. In the fragrance of a new foaming bath soap, this one Winter Citrus Wreath, selected by my husband, who picks a half dozen or so out to surprise me, knowing how much I love scents. And so on.

Delight is everywhere when we look for it, and lingering for a moment in that feeling lifts us up and gives us hope.

Consider Mary Shelley’s complete list of the simple things she found to love:

Love! What had I to love? Oh many things: there was the moonshine, and the bright stars; the breezes and the refreshing rains; there was the whole earth and the sky that covers it: all lovely forms that visited my imagination, all memories of heroism and virtue. Yet this was very unlike my early life although as then I was confined to Nature and books. Then I bounded across the fields; my spirit often seemed to ride upon the winds, and to mingle in joyful sympathy with the ambient air. Then if I wandered slowly I cheered myself with a sweet song or sweeter day dreams. I felt a holy rapture spring from all I saw. I drank in joy with life; my steps were light; my eyes clear from the love that animated them, sought the heavens, and with my long hair loosened to the winds I gave my body and my mind to sympathy and delight.”

Oh, to give our body and mind to sympathy and delight. Definitely good for whatever might ail you.

Love in this place.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

It’s okay to be heartbroken for more than one group of people at the same time. When it comes to showing compassion, we don’t have to pick sides. Sometimes, often really, maybe even always, there is hurt and anguish everywhere, and we can mourn the lot of it. 

Beware people who tell you not to be concerned for this group or that group and the hurt they feel. 

Beware those who try to dehumanize others. 

Beware those who lump you in as the ‘enemy’ for working to assure people are treated humanely.

Beware people who draw lines between us and them. 

Beware those who try to limit you to a label or single identity. 

Our hearts are big enough to embrace it all. What we must save is love.

Hang on to you hat. Hang on to your hope.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

Enjoy these profound words from E.B. White:

30 March 1973


Dear Mr. Nadeau:

As long as there is one upright man, as long as there is one compassionate woman, the contagion may spread and the scene is not desolate. Hope is the thing that is left to us, in a bad time. I shall get up Sunday morning and wind the clock, as a contribution to order and steadfastness.

Sailors have an expression about the weather: they say, the weather is a great bluffer. I guess the same is true of our human society–things can look dark, then a break shows in the clouds, and all is changed, sometimes rather suddenly.

It is quite obvious that the human race has made a queer mess of life on this planet. But as a people we probably harbor seeds of goodness that have lain for a long time waiting to sprout when the conditions are right. Man’s curiosity, his relentlessness, his inventiveness, his ingenuity have led him into deep trouble. We can only hope that these same traits will enable him to claw his way out.

Hang on to your hat. Hang on to your hope. And wind the clock, for tomorrow is another day.

Sincerely,
E. B. White

One day at a time.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

In times of great change, it is challenging to predict the future. So much is in flux. And yet, forward we must go.

In harrowing times, focus on each day, each moment, each breath. And breathe deeply. Rely on the things you know to be true and unchanging. Make the best decisions you can with what you have to work with.

Sean Penn had an interesting way to describe navigating these times, paying attention to the difficulties around you and how you can help, while also making sure to savor and appreciate the beauty of life so you don’t become lost in the morass:

[Penn points to one eye] I wake up every day with this eye clear about the threat to the environment, the anguish people are going through, attempts to figure out how I can be of any value-added. [Penn points to his other eye] And this one is driving me from the time I wake up, and all I see is that this is still a magic trick of a beautiful cosmos and I am gonna [expletive] enjoy it every day – and I do.

Remember you have made it through everything that has come your way so far.

Clear eyes. Full hearts.

You’ve got this.

Finding your power.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

In a captivating interview, Jane Goodall offers some final thoughts, filmed to be aired only after her death, with the last bit spoken directly to the camera with no one overhearing. Apparently, this is part of a series on Netflix called Famous Last Words.

It’s a sobering thought, thinking about what is the final thing you want to say to the world, to loved ones, to friends. Because they’re your last chance, these types of words hold special import.

As is unsurprising, Goodall’s final words focused, not on herself, but on others, inspiring everyone to make a difference and not give up in what she called these ‘dark’ times’.

Here are Jane’s final words:

In the place where I am now, I look back over my life. I look back at the world I’ve left behind. What message do I want to leave? I want to make sure that you all understand that each and every one of you has a role to play. You may not know it, you may not find it, but your life matters, and you are here for a reason.

And I just hope that reason will become apparent as you live through your life. I want you to know that, whether or not you find that role that you’re supposed to play, your life does matter, and that every single day you live, you make a difference in the world. And you get to choose the difference that you make.

I want you to understand that we are part of the natural world. And even today, when the planet is dark, there still is hope. Don’t lose hope. If you lose hope, you become apathetic and do nothing. And if you want to save what is still beautiful in this world – if you want to save the planet for the future generations, your grandchildren, their grandchildren – then think about the actions you take each day.

Because, multiplied a million, a billion times, even small actions will make for great change. I want to – I just hope that you understand that this life on Planet Earth isn’t the end. I believe, and now I know, that there is life beyond death. That consciousness survives.

I can’t tell you, from where I am, secrets that are not mine to share. I can’t tell you what you will find when you leave Planet Earth. But I want you to know that your life on Planet Earth will make some difference in the kind of life you find after you die.

Above all, I want you to think about the fact that we are part – when we’re on Planet Earth – we are part of Mother Nature. We depend on Mother Nature for clean air, for water, for food, for clothing, for everything. And as we destroy one ecosystem after another, as we create worse climate change, worse loss of diversity, we have to do everything in our power to make the world a better place for the children alive today, and for those that will follow.

You have it in your power to make a difference. Don’t give up. There is a future for you. Do your best while you’re still on this beautiful Planet Earth that I look down upon from where I am now.

God bless you all.

As they did while she was alive, her words inspire us to do as much as we can with what we have, to look out for others, and to cherish and care for creation. let her words be a blessing and beacon to all of us now.

Sorry. Not sorry?

Posted on by Shari Swanson

Some apologies make things worse. They don’t feel like apologies at all. They feel, instead, like just more hurt. Other apologies acknowledge the wound and help it heal. What makes the difference?

In When Sorry Isn’t Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love, Gary Chapman (of Five Love Languages fame) and Jennifer Thomas suggest that a true apology must have six characteristics:

Expressing regret–It’s important for an apology to be for something you did or said.  The more specific, the more it acknowledges the harm caused, the better. “I’m sorry you’re so sensitive,” doesn’t really feel like an apology because it is just restating some perceived flaw in the victim and isn’t focussing on anything you did wrong. Even if the harm was wholly unintended, when your actions cause another person pain, an apology is warranted. It goes to the very essence of the apology: I did not mean to hurt you.

Accepting responsibility— Yes, the pressures of the world can sometimes lead us to get wound up and stressed and to hurt other people, but that does not make it the world’s fault. We control ourselves. We are responsible if we act badly. Blaming the boss, the dog, the economy, the other drivers is deflecting. Apologies for the state of the world or all its ills will not feel like a real apology to the person you lashed out at. Apologizing for losing your temper or not considering the effects of your actions will.

Making restitution–“How can I make it right?” are powerful words. It shows an acknowledgement that what you did caused someone else harm. Maybe you can’t make it right. Maybe you can never make it right. But listening to the victim explain the damage is a powerful step forward in the process. Listening here is key–no justifying your actions, no quarreling with the facts, no defenses, just listening to the other person share their perspective. If there is something you can do to make things better, do that thing.

Genuinely repenting–If you are truly sorry, and have listened deeply to the pain you’ve caused, you will not want to cause that person pain again. You will stop causing the damage. You will want to change. Maybe you will need to write down the steps you want to take to prevent causing further harm. Maybe you will slip up and need to start again. But the most important thing is that you will try to not do this again. Otherwise, are you really sorry?

Requesting Forgiveness–“Can you forgive me?” are powerful words. They show you care about the relationship. They show you understand you did things wrong. They show you are not in control of the relationship.

Everyone messes up. Not everyone takes responsibility for messing up. When we do take responsibility for the harm we’ve caused, it may strengthen our relationships and help them grow stronger. Trust can reenter, fostering healing.

Randy Pausch, the author of the quote above, gave a powerful Last Lecture before he died young of pancreatic cancer. His timeless words can teach us all a lesson about life and living.