community

Persevere

Posted on by Shari Swanson

Sometimes things hum along nicely, and you can feel a deep sense of progress in yourself, your relationships, and the world.

Sometimes the opposite is true.

You feel yourself retreating and losing hope. Your relationships fray. Progress in the world is wiped away.

At times like these, we need to hunker down and draw on a well of hope inside in each of us that springs up with the knowledge that we can do better, we deserve better, and we will fight for ourselves and each other to make the world better.

We may not know yet the battleground we will be called to or the terms of engagement.

We do, though, know the weaponry we will fight with.

Love, honesty, integrity, justice, compassion. These tools of the light will vanquish darkness. We can’t forget what is good and right.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8

We must persevere.

Empathy for the win.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

Nothing is more important than empathy
for another human being’s suffering.
Not a career.
Not wealth.
Not intelligence.
Certainly not status.
We have to feel for one another
if we’re going to survive
with dignity.

~Audrey Hepburn

Studies show empathy, the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes and consider their point of view, might be on the decline in the United States. With a lack of empathy comes the possibility of othering, cruelty, and self-absorption.

What can we do to increase our empathy for others?

Consider this novel idea: empathy walks. Literally mirroring someone’s walk, not in a stalkery or critical way, but as a silent practice in visualizing what it must be like to be that person. Consider this example:

It all started on one of my regular walks into town. I was head-down, in a hurry, when I noticed an older woman ahead of me. She was walking slowly—agonizingly slowly, if I’m being honest—and my first instinct was annoyance. But then I thought about the old acting school exercise. What if, instead of speeding up to dodge her, I matched her pace? So, I slowed down, mimicking her small, deliberate steps, the way she slightly leaned to one side, her arms swaying as if carrying invisible weights.

And then it hit me: empathy. Not the mushy, Hallmark-card kind, but a physical understanding of what it might feel like to be her. As I moved like her, my irritation evaporated. I didn’t just see her; I felt her. I thought about the phrase “walk a mile in someone else’s shoes,” and realized it’s not the shoes that matter; it’s the walk….

So, the next time you’re out walking, try it. Pick someone ahead of you and mimic their stride. Notice where they’re tight, where they’re loose, how they carry themselves. Let their tension teach you about your own. Let their walk reshape yours. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll feel a little less separate and a little more connected—to them, to yourself, and to this messy, beautiful, shared experience we call being human.

The Value of an Empathy Walk by Maggie Rowe

We are all different, with different joys and burdens, challenges and delights. We each bring a different package of strengths and weaknesses to any situation. As we begin to appreciate the different points of views and perspectives of those around us, our empathy grows, and with that, our own world expands.

Love is nearby.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

Sometimes a good walk can change your perspective. Consider these words from Anne Lamott:

My husband said something a few years ago that I often quote: 80% of everything that is true and beautiful can be experienced in any ten minute walk. Even in the darkest and most devastating times, love is nearby if you know what to look for. It does not always appear at first to be lovely, but instead may take the form of a hot mess or a snoring old dog. Or someone you have sworn to never, ever forgive (for a possibly very good reason, if you ask me). But mixed in will also be familiar signs of love: wings, good-hearted people, cats (when they are in the right mood), a spray of wild flowers, a cup of tea. What are we even talking about when we talk of love? What is it?

On a ten minute walk anywhere…, love abounds and abides, flirts and weeps with us. It is there for the asking, which is the easy part. Our lives’ toughest work is in the receiving. Love presents most obviously in babies and kids being cuddled, yet also as patience with annoying humans we live or work with or are. We feel love upon seeing our favorite neighbors and first responders, we see it in fund-raising efforts, peace marches, kindergarten classrooms, gardens. When flowers don’t stir feeling of love in me, something is gumming up the works.

What at first unlovely things do you see around you that are really love? What evidence of love do you see on your walk? In your day? In your home?

Love is everywhere. We just sometimes need to make sure to notice.

Love like water.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

We hear we should fight fire with fire or get down in the gutter and fight dirty with the rest of them, but is this the best way? Won’t everyone just be hurt? Won’t our young lose role models for the importance of virtue?

What of other, softer, ways to resist?

Consider these words from Richard Rudd:

The Softening

Softness is one of the great secrets of all spiritual practice. 

When we become soft, we become like water. 

We let life come to us. 

We trust in its flow, and we allow ourselves to be taken in whichever direction it chooses. 

This is true power because it comes from love, and love is the softest thing in the universe, and yet it is the most powerful. 

When you soften your attitude to yourself, to others, and to life, you release the natural wisdom that lies within you. 

Your body softens, your thoughts soften, and your heart softens. 

Through softness, you find clarity and purpose without needing to force anything. 

Your life becomes a gentle unfolding rather than a constant battle.

Be still my soul and steadfast.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

No one knows what tomorrow will bring, and that can be frightening. We are in a volatile time. It helps to keep our attention on the present and what we can do here and now.

The great poets help calm our souls. Take comfort today from these tender words from Mary Oliver:

Be still, my soul, and steadfast.
Earth and heaven both are still watching
though time is draining from the clock
and your walk, that was confident and quick,
has become slow.

So, be slow if you must, but let
the heart still play its true part.
Love still as once you loved, deeply
and without patience. Let God and the world
know you are grateful. That the gift has been given.


+ Mary Oliver

We do not know what tomorrow brings, but we will approach it with full souls, grateful and loving, ready to meet the day with a steadfast heart.

For friendship.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

How lucky we are to have friends, true friends, who are in our lives just for the delight in it, for the compatibility of spirits, for joy, for shared experience, for knowing in this great big world someone gets us.

Enjoy this poem by Kahlil Gibran:

And a youth said, Speak to us of Friendship. 
    And he answered, saying: 
    Your friend is your needs answered. 
    He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving. 
    And he is your board and your fireside.
    For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace. 

    When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the “nay” in your own mind, nor do you withhold the “ay.” 
    And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart; 
    For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed. 
    When you part from your friend, you grieve not; 
    For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain. 
    And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit. 
    For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught. 

    And let your best be for your friend. 
    If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also. 
    For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill? 
    Seek him always with hours to live. 
    For it is his to fill your need but not your emptiness. 
    And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. 
    For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed. 

Listening to our souls.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

Are these the times that try people’s souls? What does it mean to have your soul tried anyway?

I’ve been thinking about this picture:

Those faces, contorted in rage, caught for history. This picture, reflecting a military presence during school desegregation, anticipating, presumably, a violent reaction from the mob, freezes a moment in history. I wonder how those women feel looking back on it. Would they be ashamed to have been part of a mob hurling epithets at this young woman? Would they feel contrition?

That period in history was certainly turbulent. Fraught with animosity directed at those seeking an education, because of the color of their skins, the women in the crowd wear their anger and hate openly in their faces.

We too are in turbulent times. Whole industries are churning out content intended to divide us, to make us hate others like the women in this picture? We are fed misinformation and disinformation designed to further these divides. Presumably the motive for this hate industry is profit, but at what expense? Will this hate-filled rhetoric cost souls?

It will certainly try them, and it is our job to protect our souls. To listen deep to the wisdom that seeks love and peace, harmony and cooperation. To deplug from the constant rhetoric of othering and hate.

It’s a loud angry world. Hush and listen to the harmony of your soul.

Bearing one another’s burdens.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

Today is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Also Inauguration Day. When we picture King, we picture him as heroic, confident, strong. And these are likely the pictures you may see today.

And, of course, he was these things. Championing civil rights and railing against injustice, able to see inequity in the systems around him and dream of a better way. He was an advocate of love over hate and peaceful protest.

And yet, his life was not a peaceful one. He was killed for the beliefs he professed. And much of the progress he made was met with violence and hate.

Progress is not a straight line, and hate is ever-present. And hate can be powerful and beguiling and intimidating. And hate can creep into the consciousness of a group, or even a nation.

And yet, I will stand with King for love over hate, all these years later, and do what I can to continue his fight for justice and peace.

Because, even in the midst of hateful people and those who seek to divide, justice and truth are on the right side of history.

What kind of difference will you make?

Posted on by Shari Swanson

As I write this, Los Angeles is burning. Many have lost their homes, their lives, their livelihoods. Many are displaced. All of us who live here are afraid, as near 100 mile per hour winds buffet our homes and render firefighting difficult if not impossible. All of us are thinking about the possibility of losing the security of home. We are one turn in the wind away from being displaced. We didn’t do anything to deserve this any more than any victim of natural disaster.

And perhaps, like me, we look around at what is happening and see people making choices.

Heroic firefighters and first responders rushing into danger.

Churches opening their doors to accept the displaced.

Grassroots attempts to collect funds and supplies for those hardest hit.

People praying and reaching out to comfort and shelter their neighbors.

And yet, we can’t help but see the others.

A suspected arsonist arrested.

A politician lying to cast blame on his enemies, making light of human suffering.

People mocking those who have lost their homes if they are rich or famous as if the wealthy can’t suffer.

People making things better and people making things worse. Isn’t that always the way? People who help and people who hurt.

And on behalf of people in the middle of this crisis, bags packed, waiting to know if they will have to flee their homes and lose everything, trying to decide what to bring or maybe not even having time for that, I will say how the actions of people out of harm’s way makes a tremendous impact. Calls and emails from people checking in and expressing concern, offers of help and sanctuary, heroic actions on behalf of others, fills us with hope and community in the midst of the darkness. Thank you to those people.

This time it is we who live in Los Angeles suffering, but tomorrow it could be you. No one is immune from the possibility of loss.

The question in all of it always is, what kind of difference will you decide to make with your life, for most assuredly what you do will make a difference. So which is it?

Help or hurt?

Enjoy the journey.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

Sometimes our eyes and hearts are focussed so far in the distance, that we fail to see what is right in front of us. The people we spend our days with, the beauty surrounding us, the opportunities we have to make a difference. When we zoom in to the detail, the richness of the particular moment can be astounding and surprising. What a beautiful, remarkable world we live in. So full of complexity. Each person we see is as full of contradictions and surprises as we are ourselves. Each living or created thing we see is so full of detail.

Long-term goals are great, but what a shame if we don’t appreciate each step along the way. We may work side by side with someone but barely know their name let alone what their hopes and dreams are. We may be so busy moving forward that we are blind to the heartache of even the people we live with. It is easy to speed through life with eyes averted like people descending in an elevator focussed only on the floor numbers.

Today take time today to enjoy the journey, the mysteries unfolding all around you, the people who share your path, and all the beautiful and startling things right here, right now.

Like, for example, who can not stop and be amazed at this little beagle shaking its jowls, its great ears flopping to the beat, its sturdy paws holding on in front but shifting with its wagging tail in back, the gorgeous landscape behind it? What a fascinating little miracle, right here. Just this.

Little miracle of the day.