Need a sense of youthful wonder?

Adulting isn’t for the faint of heart. Responsibilities, worries, concerns for the future can weigh us down and make us nostalgic for the carefree days of youth. But, perhaps, there’s a remedy.

When was the last time you started something new? An art, language, trip, habit? Maybe followed a lifelong dream. Perhaps it is scary to become a ballerina at 60+ years old, but doesn’t it sound delightful? Or perhaps learn how to refinish cast-off furniture. Or speak a different language.

These are the ones I’m thinking of, what would you try? As we age, being a beginner is harder. We worry about embarrassment, or struggle with not knowing everything already. Or perhaps we think if we try something like this, we have to be a professional and don’t give ourselves permission to be bad at it. We’ve forgotten the joy in just immersing ourselves in something new.

Julia Cameron says:

Often, when we say it is ‘too late’ for us to begin something, what we are really saying is that we aren’t willing to be a beginner. But when we are willing to dip our toe in, even just a little. We are rewarded with a sense of youthful wonder. Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never.

There is always something new and exciting around the corner just waiting to experience.

Full of wonder.

How lovely it is to stand still in the enormity of your questions. To realize that what you know is minuscule in relation to all there is to know. To let your curious mind take you on a journey of discovery. How liberating it is to lay down the facade of expertise and acknowledge that, in this world, we are all students.

Consider the hummingbird

hummingdoyle

In his essay, Joyas Volardores, Brian Doyle begins with a very close look at a hummingbird, a creature whose heart makes up a good bit of its tiny body. They are remarkable creatures. We, too, are creatures whose hearts makes up a good bit of us, and Doyle ends his essay with a look at how our hearts, no matter how we protect ourselves and wall them off, are imminently fragile, with facades that can be shattered in an instant.

So much held in a heart in a lifetime. So much held in a heart in a day, an hour, a moment. We are utterly open with no one in the end—not mother and father, not wife or husband, not lover, not child, not friend. We open windows to each but we live alone in the house of the heart. Perhaps we must. Perhaps we could not bear to be so naked, for fear of a constantly harrowed heart. When young we think there will come one person who will savor and sustain us always; when we are older we know this is the dream of a child, that all hearts finally are bruised and scarred, scored and torn, repaired by time and will, patched by force of character, yet fragile and rickety forevermore, no matter how ferocious the defense and how many bricks you bring to the wall. You can brick up your heart as stout and tight and hard and cold and impregnable as you possibly can and down it comes in an instant, felled by a woman’s second glance, a child’s apple breath, the shatter of glass in the road, the words I have something to tell you, a cat with a broken spine dragging itself into the forest to die, the brush of your mother’s papery ancient hand in the thicket of your hair, the memory of your father’s voice early in the morning echoing from the kitchen where he is making pancakes for his children.

Today, consider the hummingbird. Let it fill us with wonder and appreciation for all of creation, but especially our own hearts, and let it remind us of how tender and fragile each of is really, truth be told.