Encourage

Give yourself a break.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

yourself

If one of your friends were struggling with the problems you are facing right now, what words would you offer in support? Would you call them names, berate them, remind them of all the other times they messed up just like this and how, honestly, can they ever expect to get anything right, ever?

Probably not. Right? But often this is the way we talk to ourselves. We replay all our other mistakes in our minds, call ourselves stupid, sink into our shells scared to face the world.

But why do we do this? If the words we would offer our friend are what we think would help, why are we so reticent to speak kind encouraging words to ourselves? Maybe today is a good day to try a different approach.

Be a kind friend to yourself. Offer yourself words of support and encouragement. Focus on all the many times you got things right. Tell yourself the truth: you are precious and beloved.

 

SaveSave

SaveSave

Reach out.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

suffering

Sometimes, we are humbled and cowed by the destructive ability of our environment. Everything we’ve built up can be destroyed in an instant by earthquake, a flood, a tornado, and we are left to build again. But into these disasters, something remarkable always shows up. The human spirit. People help each other, arriving with supplies or rescue, opening their homes and wallets. There is a buoyancy to these acts of human compassion that helps others feel protected and lifted up even when they are at their lowest point. And what a gift it is to be able to help someone feel like they are not alone.

Who’s your neighbor?

Posted on by Shari Swanson

neighbor

What would the world look like if we were to actively do the things Jesus taught us: Turning the other cheek? Loving our neighbor as ourself? Loving and praying for our enemies? Welcoming the children? Feeding the poor? And so on.

To the degree that imagined reality is at odds with what we are seeing, that is where we are called to act, think, and behave differently, to close that gap.

Yes, we do not need to meet violence with violence. Yes, the whole world is made up of our neighbors, including those who don’t think and look like us. Yes, we must show compassion and concern for our enemies, love and protect our children, and use our resources to help the big picture. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Imagine what a world that would be!

Hold steady.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

livingarrows

Our children are ours for such a short time really. Or maybe it just seems like they are ours because we love them so. Maybe they always belonged to the universe, to a future we will not see, to their own stories more than they ever belonged to us. But, for a while, we hold them, love them, teach them, comfort them, and give them all we have to give. And then we let them go.

Khalil Gibran puts it beautifully:

On Children
Khalil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

How important it is to be the “bow that is stable”. Our steadiness helps our children as living arrows find their arc, their trajectory, their brilliance. Our steady hands help our children take flight.

Not knowing is part of knowing.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

explain

There are sure a lot of people who have all the answers and are only too happy to explain the world to you at length. Puffed up chests, throats clearing, outstretched fingers to point you to the truth as only they can best explain it to you.

But do they have all the answers, really? Isn’t there much about which we must proceed on faith rather than knowledge?

What if God himself were to frame the questions? Then how would these know-it alls fare?

Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm. (Job 38) He said:

2 “Who is this that obscures my plans
    with words without knowledge?
3 Brace yourself like a man;
    I will question you,
    and you shall answer me.

4 “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
    Tell me, if you understand.
5 Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
    Who stretched a measuring line across it?
6 On what were its footings set,
    or who laid its cornerstone—
7 while the morning stars sang together
    and all the angels shouted for joy?

8 “Who shut up the sea behind doors
    when it burst forth from the womb,
9 when I made the clouds its garment
    and wrapped it in thick darkness,
10 when I fixed limits for it
    and set its doors and bars in place,
11 when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther;
    here is where your proud waves halt’?

12 “Have you ever given orders to the morning,
    or shown the dawn its place,
13 that it might take the earth by the edges
    and shake the wicked out of it?
14 The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;
    its features stand out like those of a garment.
15 The wicked are denied their light,
    and their upraised arm is broken.

16 “Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
    or walked in the recesses of the deep?
17 Have the gates of death been shown to you?
    Have you seen the gates of the deepest darkness?
18 Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
    Tell me, if you know all this.

19 “What is the way to the abode of light?
    And where does darkness reside?
20 Can you take them to their places?
    Do you know the paths to their dwellings?
21 Surely you know, for you were already born!
    You have lived so many years!

 

Ah, not so smug now, are they, those knowers-of-everything? What anyone knows is but a speck in the vastness of all there is to know.

Maybe a bit of humility is in order.

 

Ever forward.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

backward

Even as each day is unfolding, taking shape, and then morphing just as we think we understand it, our future is unknown. Possibilities exist; nothing is set in stone; anything can be.

You do not need to stay trapped by old mistakes and regrets. You do not need to wallow in yesterday’s disappointments. You are not defined by what you used to be.

Today is a new day. Tomorrow is full of possibilities. Rise up and step ever forward into the promise of what is yet to come.

Who are your heroes?

Posted on by Shari Swanson

couragemccain

Who are your heroes? It is really an enlightening exercise to sit for a minute and ponder this question. Are your heroes, perhaps, people who fought against injustice, spoke out when they could have remained silent, ran into danger to save others, had a vision for the world that transcended the accepted theories?

It tells us something of ourselves to consider our heroes and perhaps points a way to where we might use our voices or actions to better the world.

No matter who our heroes are, though, it is unlikely they acted fearlessly. It is far more likely that they understood the dangers, were afraid, but did it anyway because it was important.

We can, too.

Just do it. (A lot.)

Posted on by Shari Swanson

habit

What goal are you setting for yourself?

Are you taking steps to realize it?

Whether it’s eating healthier and exercising or having more discipline over your actions– perhaps being kinder, holding your tongue, or practicing patience– practice makes perfect.

Just do it.

And again.

Until it becomes a habit so ingrained that you can’t imagine that you ever did things any other way.

Mistakes? I’ve made a few.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

mistakes

So you’ve made some mistakes. Maybe lots of mistakes. Maybe the same mistakes over and over.

So what?

Welcome to the club. The club of people who’ve made mistakes. A club that, if we’re being honest, embraces all of humankind since its inception.

Maybe it’s time to stop beating yourself up about the mistakes you’ve made. Maybe it’s time to let yourself try again. Maybe, and this one is perhaps the most difficult, maybe it’s time to stop pretending that you haven’t made mistakes. That’s one mask that will just get too heavy to wear for much longer.

So you’ve made mistakes. The trick is to learn from them and to, hopefully, make different mistakes next time. And to learn from those, too. And so on.

 

Thanks for the memories.

Posted on by Shari Swanson

splashgoodbye

Loss is hard. Whether it is of a spouse, a child, a friend, or a pet. We carry a hole with us where that loved one was. But when we sit and consider that relationship and dwell on the things about it for which we are grateful, the loss hurts a bit less.

Smiles replace tears. Warm memories flood our senses. Laughter surprises us. We remember ways we’ve grown or blossomed because of that relationship. Gratitude replaces hurt or anger or grief.

We remember that, yes, we had to say goodbye, but how lucky we were to say hello.

Our hearts start to heal.