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We aim to see the truth. But how do we do that when we are looking at the world through our own perceptions and assumptions? People used to believe that the sun revolved around the earth and ordered up reality with that assumption as foundational—until they discovered they were wrong. (Not, of course, until after convicting Galileo of heresy and excommunicating him.) Perceived reality is tough stuff to shake. Science helps, of course. But even with science many would rather falsify the text books than change their settled views of reality.

And what of the stuff beyond science, points of view, for instance. Is it your perspective versus mine? Or your perspective plus mine? Which is more likely to lead to ‘the truth’? There is a reason there are twelve people on a jury tasked to discover ‘the truth’. One perspective and judgment may not be enough, may be biased, may be limited by its own perceptions.

But still we dig in on our own view of ‘truth’. We embrace stereotypes which makes this an easier task and resist hearing other people’s stories. We simplify things to fit with our beliefs rather than embracing and considering other people’s viewpoints.

Why is it so difficult to accept a new truth?

In his book, The Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck suggests that we should be constantly examining ‘the truth’…and ourselves:

What does a life of total dedication to the truth mean? It means, first of all, a life of continuous and never-ending stringent self-examination. We know the world only through our relationship to it. Therefore, to know the world, we must not only examine it but we must simultaneously examine the examiner.

Peck goes on to discuss how we all make maps, world views, really, that organize our understanding of the world we find ourselves in:

Our view of reality is like a map with which to negotiate the terrain of life. If the map is true and accurate, we will generally know where we are, and if we have decided where we want to go, we will generally know how to get there. If the map is false and inaccurate, we generally will be lost.

While this is obvious, it is something that most people to a greater or lesser degree choose to ignore. They ignore it because our route to reality is not easy. First of all, we are not born with maps; we have to make them, and the making requires effort. The more effort we make to appreciate and perceive reality, the larger and more accurate our maps will be. But many do not want to make this effort. Some stop making it by the end of adolescence. Their maps are small and sketchy, their views of the world narrow and misleading. By the end of middle age most people have given up the effort. They feel certain that their maps are complete and the Weltanschauung is correct (indeed, even sacrosanct), and they are no longer interested in new information. It is as if they are tired. Only a relative and fortunate few continue until the moment of death exploring the mystery of reality, ever enlarging and refining and redefining their understanding of the world and what is true.

As you go through your day today, challenge your roadmap. Are those obstacles really insurmountable, or is there a slightly longer path leading to the same destination? Are you trapped, or can you backtrack and try a different fork on the path? Is that person really beyond understanding? Those people beyond hope? That fact established?

Challenging ourselves and our foundational assumptions isn’t dangerous, it’s liberating. What is out there waiting for us to discover if we just take that first step? For a brilliant TED talk on the two types of mindsets, one that leads to more knowledge, and one that, well, doesn’t (“Why You Think You’re Right Even When You’re Wrong”), go here. And for a further discussion of fixed v. growth mindsets, consider this.

They say there is an African tribe where, when a woman is pregnant, she goes into the jungle with the other women of the village, and together they pray and meditate until they discover that child’s song.When that child is born, the community gathers to sing his song. And at each of the major stages of his life, they will sing his song–as he becomes a man, marries, and finally as he meets death to accompany him on the journey. When that child commits an anti-social act, the community will not focus on or be fooled by the mistakes or the dark, broken or ugly places within him but will gather around him in a circle to sing him his song, for the answer is not punishment but to remind him of his true identity, his unique place in the community.

This is such a lovely picture of service and community and being seen and valued as a unique individual. Many of us long for that place. But in this world in which we find ourselves, often we don’t know our song. Or we sing someone else’s song. Or our song is drowned out. Or we are too busy, distracted, or afraid to sing our song. Or, frankly, we just mouth the words.

Today, make sure to sing your song. It’s not about whether you sing on key or whether your song is ready for a band tour. It’s about authenticity and offering the gifts that you uniquely have to offer. Sing away, little bird.

Each individual’s gifts and strengths are as unique as a fingerprint. Among us are leaders and creators; thinkers and doers; warriors and nurturers. Finding your strengths and using them in service is one of our life’s challenges. When we remember that there is no one right answer to this question, no shoulds, no musts, but only what is, we can soar.

There are things in this life that break us. Usually they involve some sort of loss-of health, of life, of relationship, of stuff. Despair is a crippler. You can’t breathe; you can’t think; you can’t see a way out. The world becomes very small until it feels like you are living in a tiny bubble apart from everything and everyone, floating along fragile in your pain. At times like these, you have to force yourself to hope and to push through. Start with your breath. In and out, in and out, until it is smooth and full, rather than broken with the catch in your throat from the threatening cry. Keep at that, smooth and full, smooth and full, smooth and full until you can open your eyes and start noticing beauty, maybe, at first, in the tiniest of things. A drop of dew on the grass, the feel of breeze on your skin, laughter of a child,  a bud of a flower, birds in flight. Keep at it. No one said it would be easy. Keep at it. Smooth and full, smooth and full, smooth and full.

Benjamin Franklin’s parents could afford to educate him only until he was 10; he took it from there. Abraham Lincoln lost far more political battles than he won.  Oprah Winfrey lost a child when she was 14. Many writers, like J.K. Rowling and Stephen King, were rejected dozens of times before they ever sold a story.

History is full of people who initially failed but ultimately succeeded, perhaps at something wildly different than what they first started. There is value in an obstacle if you can see it with the right eyes– eyes that look for what is to be learned from the struggle, eyes that value determination and resilience, eyes that look for opportunity.

Which of your obstacles are really gateways to something better?