Hold on.

 

aint

Is your life all ups, no downs? Do you ever feel a need to make it look like it is? Maybe to pretend the rough stuff doesn’t exist or put on a big smile to cover a broken heart? Do you ever feel like there must be something wrong with your faith if your life is going badly?

Truth is, shit happens. To the best, most faithful of people. Life’s struggles can feel overwhelming. You can get to the point where you simply cannot see how someone could think and feel the way they do. You can lose hope.

At times like these you need to breathe deep and get yourself to a quiet place. And it sure would do no harm, and maybe a whole lot of good, to read a poem like this:

 

The Peace of Wild Things

by Wendell Barry

When despair for the world grows in me

and I wake in the night at the least sound

in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,

I go and lie down where the wood drake

rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.

I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought

of grief. I come into the presence of still water.

And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light.

For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

And the good news is, you can read this poem, and your soul will calm without even being in that place where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water. The words of a good poem are like magic. They can heal you and still the churning waters of your soul. And they can help you remember the ‘day-blind stars waiting with their light’, because, yes, we cannot see the stars in the daytime, but they are there. Shining.

May you rest in the grace of the world and find peace.

 

Follow your bliss.

bliss

What is your bliss? What fills you with purpose and passion and spills out of you into the world around you?

That’s not always an easy question.

Sometimes we can look at the high moments in our work or life, the moments that brought joy and satisfaction, and follow them like breadcrumbs back to the bliss, that thing that we love doing.

Sometimes, we are born knowing our passion and purpose. It is as apparent as the nose on our face, if we can see it and follow it before it’s squashed by life.

In the attached video, one boy seems to know what brings him joy and purpose right out of the gate: making bears for hospitalized children, turning sadness into joy, despair into hope, and, maybe even, saving his own dad in the process.

There is so much to love about this story, but, as you watch, consider his parents’ response. They don’t force him to be like all the other boys. They don’t mock or deride him for his dream. They don’t push him into a mold of their own devising.

They let him blossom.

 

Take a hike.

naturewalk

To the beach, the mountains, the desert, the fields, the back yard. Wherever you can go, take the time to unwind in nature. Let its gentle rhythms soothe and comfort you.

The world is bigger than this day and this problem.

Let nature’s embrace help you find your way home.

Be a good friend.

friendshpcement

Friendships are taking a hit these days. Politics, world views, differing opinions are tearing people apart. What is it that holds people together instead? One thing is an abiding concern for the other person, despite your differences. If you can advocate against the death penalty on behalf of a stranger, couldn’t you bring yourself to see what is good and redeemable inside a former friend? Inside an enemy even? Searching for common ground is hard work, but really the main point of living in community. Isn’t it?

Be kind.

kindness

Kindness isn’t something you ponder in your heart. It is something you do–with your hands, with your words, with your gifts. Person to person, face to face. Lift those who have fallen; feed those who are hungry; speak up for those without a voice; reach out to those who feel alone.

In her song, Hands, Jewel reminds us that even when our hands are small, they are the tools we have to help others and we must use them. That is the way we will use our lives to make a difference for the better in the lives of those around us.

When she was 18, pop singer Jewel lived in a van. One day, she walked into a store to shoplift a dress; but looking at her hands, she realized she controlled them. “I realized I was cheating myself.” Here’s a song titled ‘Hands’ with a beautiful refrain: ‘In the end, only kindness matters.”

Listen to Jewell’s beautiful song here. And, today, contemplate her words:

We will fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what’s right
Cause where there’s a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing

My hands are small, I know,
But they’re not yours they are my own
But they’re not yours they are my own
And I am never broken

Today, be kind. Look for any and every opportunity to make a difference.

 

Lead your children well.

children

None of us knows what the future holds. But we do know the values we hold dear–honesty, integrity, love, compassion, empathy, respect, tolerance. As we raise our children, we instill these values. As adults, we model these values whether we win or lose, succeed or fail, sink or swim.  Watching us, they learn, and, as they go forward into their futures, they will bring these values to their own decisions. If each of us does this, we will leave the world a better brighter place for our having been here.

Rise up.

serenity

Life knocks us down. What helps us get back up?

It’s not about how smart we are, or who we know, or what school we went to. It’s about resilience. Our emotional IQs may be just as important, if not more important, than our actual IQs.

Our emotional intelligence is subtle:

Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions that achieve positive results. Emotional intelligence is made up of four core skills that pair up under two primary competencies: personal competence and social competence.

And, as luck would have it, our emotional intelligence is something we can work to improve:

Unlike your IQ, your EQ is highly malleable. As you train your brain by repeatedly practicing new emotionally intelligent behaviors, your brain builds the pathways needed to make them into habits. Before long, you will begin responding to your surroundings with emotional intelligence without even having to think about it. And as your brain reinforces the use of new behaviors, the connections supporting old, destructive behaviors will die off.

Consider these nine habits of emotionally intelligent people:

1. They’re relentlessly positive. 
2. They have a robust emotional vocabulary.

3. They’re assertive.

4. They’re curious about other people.

5. They forgive, but they don’t forget. 
6. They won’t let anyone limit their joy.

7. They make things fun.

8. They are difficult to offend. 
9. They quash negative self-talk.

Focus on the things you can control. Don’t get lost in the negativity of things beyond your sphere of influence. Remember to stay positive and joyful.

And then get yourself back up!

 

Color your world!

color

Are you having a basic beige day? A blue day? A red explosion day? Color is surprisingly important behind the scenes to our mood and can affect how you feel.

Some studies have shown that color can have dramatic consequences on behavior:

  • One study found that warm-colored placebo pills were reported as more effective than cool-colored placebo pills.

  • Anecdotal evidence has suggested that installing blue-colored streetlights can lead to reduced crime in those areas.

  • The temperature of the environment might play a role in color preference. People who are warm tend to list cool colors as their favorites, while people who are cold prefer warmer colors.

  • More recently, researchers discovered that the color red causes people to react with greater speed and force, something that might prove useful during athletic activities.

  • One study that looked at historical data found that sports teams dressed in mostly black uniforms are more likely to receive penalties and that students were more likely to associate negative qualities with a player wearing a black uniform.

One study suggests that placing misbehaving children in a pink room can calm them down better than anything else! And that calming effect has been employed in visiting team’s locker room to mellow them out and make them less likely to win a game.  Many things have been written about the use of color in decorating in creating a home that reflects the mood you are after.

So what to make of these interesting tidbits? First, there is so much more going on in our brains with respect to our moods and behaviors than we realize. But, second, why not try a bit of a color experiment on yourself? If you are feeling blue, dress in yellow. If you want some comfort, how about a nurturing tan? If nothing else, it will feel a lot like playing dress up, and we all know how good play is for even the most serious among us.

Laugh!!

chaplin

Laughter is good for what ails you. Studies show it improves your immune system, relieves pain, helps you connect with others, and improves your mood. In stressful times, laughter can cut the tension and increase cooperation.

But, make sure what you’re laughing at is good, clean fun. If someone is the butt of the joke, you might just be adding to the stress rather than getting a much-needed break. There is a line where funny videos inspire more concern for a victim than laughter. Racist or sexist jokes may well feel more like a weapon wielded than a funny bone tickled.

So, start with a smile and then, let her rip. Laughing at jokes, a situation, yourself… may just well be what the doctor ordered

Shine your light.

light

You were born to be a blessing to others. To shine your light where there is dark. To sing songs of praise. To give of yourself without holding back.

That’s kind of out there, isn’t it? Scary. Who are you to be shining a light in the dark places of the world, after all?

Marianne Williamson answers this question brilliantly:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Shine, Baby, Shine!